Divorce expats: offering help and setting boundaries

Divorce is sad enough. And when it happens on the international playing field, it's complex too. But for Marjet Groenleer, partner at SCG Lawyers, no challenge is too great. "I go very far for my clients," she says.

Marjet Groenleer SCG Lawyers

DATE

15 July 2024

TEXT

Jasper Gramsma

IMAGE

Brian Mul

Divorce expats: offering help and setting boundaries

Divorce is sad enough. And when it happens on the international playing field, it's complex too. But for Marjet Groenleer, partner at SCG Lawyers, no challenge is too great. "I go very far for my clients," she says.

Eand more beautiful Hague place to hold office is almost inconceivable. From the meeting room, Marjet Groenleer (46) has a view of the Mali Bridge over the Smidswater. The pastel shades give the stately space something soft. "Not aloof, but calm: exactly how I present myself in my role," the international family law specialist sums it up herself. After years of working for GMW lawyers, she became a partner at SCG Advocaten in 2021. "I took the plunge, made a call and said: what do you think about opening an office in The Hague as well? Then I will become a partner there." And so it happened. "SCG was already in Amsterdam and Eindhoven, which also have large expat communities, so this is a nice addition."

Niche market

After a tough start-up phase, Groenleer was joined by a secretary and a fellow lawyer. "But by now we are already looking for people again, as we are growing," she notes with satisfaction. "People sometimes talk about trends in divorce, for instance after the holidays or in corona time, but international divorces always go on.

Moreover, this is a top-level niche market in which few lawyers work." Although cases abound, according to the lawyer, not one is the same. "Besides the fact that it can be legally complicated because it can involve law from various countries, sometimes you also have to deal with different cultures within the marriage."


'Good advice beforehand can prevent a lot of suffering'

Role patterns are quite traditional among expat couples. "That's not surprising either," says Groenleer. "The career of the person with the international job is leading. When, as a partner, you keep moving with them, it is difficult to build your own career." That dependency can manifest itself painfully in a divorce. "The one who steps out of the expat life often wants to return to the country of origin. Suddenly, he or she falls back into the regular tax regime. A divorce sometimes also means that the children can no longer attend that expensive international school. So the welfare trap can be big. With good advice beforehand, a lot of suffering can be avoided, but I am usually only called at a later stage."


'The best thing I have to offer is structure'

Divorce cases have one thing in common: they involve a lot of emotions. The tissue box stands pontifically on Groenleer's table for a reason. "I am very conscious of assisting people during one of the darkest periods of their lives," she continues in a serious tone.

"Divorce does not bring out the best in people. People can feel angry, sad, anxious and uncertain. About the children, about money, about the future. And they often lack overview: chaos and uncertainty dominate. The best thing I have to offer is structure in a safe environment, making people feel really supported."

Alimony

A divorce usually proceeds along the same lines: children, maintenance, assets and pensions. "But because of all kinds of treaties and European regulations, different law can always apply. This complexity makes my profession very fascinating," Groenleer explains. "For example, the court in the country where the children live decides their fate. And the tax consequences for alimony are very different in the Netherlands than in England. Are you going to sell the house in France? Then you have to deal with taxes locally. And if you have built up a pension in Switzerland, the settlement has to take place there. Because of my experience and my network, I know what to look out for in each country and can quickly find the right sources."

Marjet Groenleer SCG Lawyers

Since her office is on the Nieuwe Uitleg, Marjet Groenleer regularly takes a stroll along the Smidswater.

Mediation

As in 'normal' divorce cases, international spouses come out together in most cases. "I offer mediation between the parties, but I also look after the interests of either of them if necessary. In doing so, it happens that I advise my client's partner a lawyer from my network. After all, nothing is as terrible as a bad lawyer on the other side. Also for my own client," laughs Groenleer. Only in exceptional situations do proceedings end up in court. "Then there are often major dramas, such as complex financial cases or child abduction - it's hard to negotiate on those. But," she puts things into perspective, "it can also just be that either spouse is deliberately stalling things, mind you."

The family lawyer, herself divorced, hears the most intense stories in her work. "I have seen so many ways in which people organise their relationships and their lives that nothing surprises me anymore. However, it can be difficult to navigate between helping and setting boundaries," she confesses. "Because I go very far for my clients. Emotionally, I can keep enough distance, but professionally, I do take my work home with me."

www.scg-advocaten.nl

date 15 July 2024
text Jasper Gramsma image Brian Mul

Eand more beautiful Hague place to hold office is almost inconceivable. From the meeting room, Marjet Groenleer (46) has a view of the Mali Bridge over the Smidswater. The pastel shades give the stately space something soft. "Not aloof, but calm: exactly how I present myself in my role," the international family law specialist sums it up herself. After years of working for GMW lawyers, she became a partner at SCG Advocaten in 2021. "I took the plunge, made a call and said: what do you think about opening an office in The Hague as well? Then I will become a partner there." And so it happened. "SCG was already in Amsterdam and Eindhoven, which also have large expat communities, so this is a nice addition."

Niche market

After a tough start-up phase, Groenleer was joined by a secretary and a fellow lawyer. "But by now we are already looking for people again, as we are growing," she notes with satisfaction. "People sometimes talk about trends in divorce, for instance after the holidays or in corona time, but international divorces always go on.

Moreover, this is a top-level niche market in which few lawyers work." Although cases abound, according to the lawyer, not one is the same. "Besides the fact that it can be legally complicated because it can involve law from various countries, sometimes you also have to deal with different cultures within the marriage."


'Good advice beforehand can prevent a lot of suffering'

Role patterns are quite traditional among expat couples. "That's not surprising either," says Groenleer. "The career of the person with the international job is leading. When, as a partner, you keep moving with them, it is difficult to build your own career." That dependency can manifest itself painfully in a divorce. "The one who steps out of the expat life often wants to return to the country of origin. Suddenly, he or she falls back into the regular tax regime. A divorce sometimes also means that the children can no longer attend that expensive international school. So the welfare trap can be big. With good advice beforehand, a lot of suffering can be avoided, but I am usually only called at a later stage."


'The best thing I have to offer is structure'

Divorce cases have one thing in common: they involve a lot of emotions. The tissue box stands pontifically on Groenleer's table for a reason. "I am very conscious of assisting people during one of the darkest periods of their lives," she continues in a serious tone.

"Divorce does not bring out the best in people. People can feel angry, sad, anxious and uncertain. About the children, about money, about the future. And they often lack overview: chaos and uncertainty dominate. The best thing I have to offer is structure in a safe environment, making people feel really supported."

Alimony

A divorce usually proceeds along the same lines: children, maintenance, assets and pensions. "But because of all kinds of treaties and European regulations, different law can always apply. This complexity makes my profession very fascinating," Groenleer explains. "For example, the court in the country where the children live decides their fate. And the tax consequences for alimony are very different in the Netherlands than in England. Are you going to sell the house in France? Then you have to deal with taxes locally. And if you have built up a pension in Switzerland, the settlement has to take place there. Because of my experience and my network, I know what to look out for in each country and can quickly find the right sources."

Marjet Groenleer SCG Lawyers

Since her office is on the Nieuwe Uitleg, Marjet Groenleer regularly takes a stroll along the Smidswater.

Mediation

As in 'normal' divorce cases, international spouses come out together in most cases. "I offer mediation between the parties, but I also look after the interests of either of them if necessary. In doing so, it happens that I advise my client's partner a lawyer from my network. After all, nothing is as terrible as a bad lawyer on the other side. Also for my own client," laughs Groenleer. Only in exceptional situations do proceedings end up in court. "Then there are often major dramas, such as complex financial cases or child abduction - it's hard to negotiate on those. But," she puts things into perspective, "it can also just be that either spouse is deliberately stalling things, mind you."

The family lawyer, herself divorced, hears the most intense stories in her work. "I have seen so many ways in which people organise their relationships and their lives that nothing surprises me anymore. However, it can be difficult to navigate between helping and setting boundaries," she confesses. "Because I go very far for my clients. Emotionally, I can keep enough distance, but professionally, I do take my work home with me."

www.scg-advocaten.nl